Me: I'd like to cancel my Verizon account.
Verizon Rep: Is there anything we can do to keep your business?
Me: No, I'd just like to cancel my account, please.
Verizon Rep: Can you tell me why you want to cancel?
Me: I got a new phone and need to change providers.
Verizon Rep: Let me guess, it's an iPhone.
Me: Yes, it is, can I please cancel?
Verizon Rep: But have you seen the droid phone?
Me: Yes, I didn't get one, I just want to cancel my service.
Verizon Rep: What if I gave you a free one?
Me: It would change nothing because, as you deduced, I already have an iPhone.
Verizon Rep: What if I gave you a free droid and a free laptop computer?
Me: Can you even do that?
Verizon Rep: Yes, let me check on something.
Me: What are you checking on?
Verizon Rep: Okay I can't give you a computer.
Me: Please, just cancel my service.
Verizon Rep: Okay.
Here's the Problem →
Here’s the Problem: Really, there is no problem, except that you aren’t reading this blog. It’s hilarious and low on the lengthy text posts for those of you that get bored by too many words and too few pictures. Actual Problem: You’re at work, aren’t you? Get off the internet.
Oh, thank god. FX has renewed the unbelievably funny, fantasy-football inspired show The League for summer 2010. Now if only Comedy Central will lock in season two of Michael and Michael Have Issues.
Aside from charting how many times I see Nicholas Cage on television in a week, while recovering I’ve become highly addicted to this little company called Netflix. If you don’t recognize the name, don’t worry, I think this is going to be huge. Same with this show I just started watching called The Wire. Call me crazy but I think this one just might become a hit. Anyway, the...
I’m not complaining, but based on three weeks of on-the-couch-all-day research I’ve concluded that the Nicholas Cage movie National Treasure is on the air at a minimum of twice a day.
Dear Meteorologists, Local News Weatherpeople, Weather.com: Perhaps we’re suffering from a difference in understanding whether information is useful or not. You see, you seem to think that the temperature from a thermometer is the most important piece of weather information you can impart. In reality, it’s pretty useless. If the mercury hits 35 degrees but it is absurdly windy all...
Of all of the buildings to have elevator maintenance problems, I would say that the Hospital for Special Surgery is one of the worst. When the majority of people visiting your building are injured or post-major surgery, it might be a good idea to invest in a back-up system so your spinal procedure patients don’t have to walk up the stairs to get to appointments. (that said, the level of...
watch this show. →
Ronna & Beverly might be the best half hour of my week, and that week included making a cake, so clearly the bar was set incredibly high. Because I’m very fancy and have Showtime, I was able to watch the pilot. Hopefully you can track it down online if you are not as lucky. At the very least enjoy the videos on their website.
Is there anything I can get you? A massage? A sandwich?– Still the weirdest pick up line anyone has ever used on me.
The other day gawker posted an item that revealed the staff gift at Conde Nast this year. Apparently in the last few years the staff has included fine glassware and outrageously expensive leather bags. This year, apparently, staff members of one of the last remaining magazine publishers received a $15 gift card to the office cafeteria. And with all of the financial upsets in publishing right...
current comedy crush →
The League is fantastic. His stand up is hilarious. If you aren’t doing everything you can to follow Nick Kroll then you are probably wasting your time. In fact, you’re reading this blog, you’re definitely wasting your time. Go to his site instead. Trust me.
I want someone to open up an off track betting facility called Bookie Monster.
pretty appropriate song considering my recent back...
love letters to new york
The end of the year is an interesting time in magazine publishing. Issues are thin and usually just reiterate the stories of the year in some kind of list. Writing content can be tricky this time of year as most of the people/institutions at the center of big stories or feature pieces are quiet and closed up for the holidays. Magazines take varying approaches to filling the pages. Beloved city...
thank you, reality tv
The last decade of American television has been just one giant movement towards 24 hour a day reality programming. It started with MTVs Real World and then the network breakout Survivor and now stations that began with the noblest of content, like music or the even broader idea of just plain ‘learning’, are essentially all reality all the time. Critics will argue for the next decade...
tabloids and fashion: double edged sword
As I previously wrote, tabloid magazines (and now a more general idea of ‘tabloid culture’ that includes blogs) have had quite an impact on other industries. Though media is one of the most affected, I believe that the fashion and clothing industry may feel the reach of tabloids even more. Us Weekly and Life & Style and Star have been tracking down celebrities beyond the red...